May 2012
6 posts
April 2012
8 posts
New Boy :)
I have a boyfriend again and this one… he’s fantastic. He cares. He sings. He is goofy. He looks at me with the special something in his eye.
I’m kinda falling for him already…
I am so happy :)
March 2012
4 posts
February 2012
4 posts
failing... oh, that again?
i just feel like im failing. as usual.
i guess this is nothing new. just new things making me feel this way.
I broke up with my bf of about seven months a few days ago. im really glad i did. he was a complete dick to me. didnt really care. and i dont know why i stayed with him for so long. i guess i was just hoping he would change. would turn around and see that he actually did like me for...
yeah. go ahead. be awesome and send me a freaking coded message that you won’t tell me what it means. add my name in it for extra fun. leave only my name uncoded. then apologize but never explain what the frick you mean…? really? what the f?!?! fekjlafdkjljadfskjladfs. people sometimes.
(sounds like a major over reaction but this guy, well you gotta know him to understand...
January 2012
8 posts
Talked to the boy last night and I don’t think anything is going to change any time soon. So that leaves me with a decision to make. Stay with him, never talk to him, try to move on while I’m still “with” him or break up with him, never talk to him, possibly regret it and feel even more lonely knowing he didn’t fight for me, think about him hooking up with other...
I just want someone to care about me. Think about me. Invest some time in me. This isn’t me being a needy girlfriend. It’s what comes with being in a relationship. Caring. And not assuming the other knows you care or that you think of them often. It’s taking the time to remind them how special they are. What they mean to you. How much better their life is with you in it.
And ya...
“Singleness is starting to look better and better…”
“So many problems for such a little girl”
Made to Change
I don’t want change. Because then that means that I have to care. Think. Feel. All of which are too scary right now. I am where I am and I don’t want to think about what that means. I’m relatively content where I am. I have made myself okay with my life. So even if it means being happier, I don’t want anything to change. I don’t care about the possibility of being...
December 2011
5 posts
“Time to be the person I want to be. So there. Try and stop me world; it’s...”
Merry Christmas?
December 25th, 2011.
A year ago today, I was in Ohio with my mom, dad and sister. She had just gotten back from studying abroad, my dad had just gotten a job and I just got my appendix taken out. We were going to my grandparents house, together, like we do every year. This year, Matt, my sister’s boyfriend, was going to come as well. (they got engaged a few months later). I was with my...
“Don’t think too much. You’ll create a problem that wasn’t even...”
November 2011
4 posts
yup. that's that.
I am terrible at keeping up with this thing. I figured I would be, like I always am with stuff I try to keep up with on the computer mostly. Not much has changed. I am still dating C. He is still at college. I still miss him like crazy everyday and can’t wait for him to come home. I get to see him in two days! It’s been 6 weeks since I last saw him. Let me just say: LONG DISTANCE...
“I am beautiful.”
October 2011
4 posts
Self- respect ...what's that?
So i don’t respect myself. at all. and it took my boyfriend telling me and basically yelling at me, well, we were both yelling, not angrily, for me to get it. i don’t eat, i stay up late, deprive myself from things that i know i need. i forget myself, only think of others, put my needs far far away.
"Parent Official"
So. Been skyping C more and hes been brought up in conversation a few times by my mom. Once asking what he sent me. (we’ve been exchanging letters for the past month and a half). Then she asked who I got the plane from (I stopped hiding him every day, now he stays out on my bed). Then she asked who I was “having so much fun with” when I was skyping him one night. (I laugh way too...
Hello again me
Well, it’s fall. September 19th to be exact. Which means I will be twenty years old in one month. That doesnt seem real at all. It can’t be. I’m supposed to be more confident. supposed to know who i want to be, who I am, what I want with my life. But I’ve never been more confused.
I broke up with a guy, boy more like, that I was with for a year. The majority of the time, I...
May 2011
2 posts
Beginnings
So. Welcome to Finding Ellen. Follow me as a search for who I am and who I truly want to become.
This is the start of my summer after my first year of “college”: aka community college where I only went part time. It’s been a new experience for me; more freedom, more time to waste on Facebook and Pintrist. Less friends that I see on a daily basis. More time to work. More time to...
1 tag
“I work from awkwardness. by that I mean I don’t like to arrange things. If...”